Evolution does scooby doo
by Mr. Jack The Ripper
Summary: scooby doo evolution style, see inside the twisted mind of nick madison
1. Mr america

Evolution does Scooby doo  
Randy: I hope we don't get caught in a crazy mystery right h?  
HHH: Reah!  
Flair: oh you woo know you like solving woo mysteries  
Randy: Speak for yourself Flair  
Batista: oh shutup you 2  
The evolution machine suddenly breaks down  
Batista: Oh no!  
Ric: let's head to that conveniently placed woo abandoned ring  
Randy and HHH: Oh No!  
They see the owner of the ring sitting down angry, his name is Vince  
mcmahon  
Randy: Hey, I know you, you are vince mcmahon!  
Vince: No shit, and now I'm ruined because of a stupid ghost  
HHH jumps into randy's arms  
Both: Ghost?!  
Vince: Yes, ghosts  
Batista: we'll help you with your ghost problem  
HHH: Re rill?  
Vince: Good, but if you mess up you are fired!!!!!!  
Ric: you woo like to hear yourself talk  
Vince: The ghost's name is Mr. America  
Later.  
Flair: hey woo look, it's hulk Hogan  
HHH: Rhat are roo doing rout here rister rogan?  
Hogan: I was just fired by mr. Mcmahon brother  
Randy Orton: whatever, we don't need him for this mystery, he's just an old  
fart  
Hogan: I heard that brother  
Orton: I know!  
Later  
Randy: zoinks, it's mr. America  
America: look brothers, get out of my ring!  
Ric: Oh no, its woo time for some crazy music  
He struts as the music begins, after wards they all start running  
America goes to the seats and sees 4 people dressed as security(secretly  
evolution obviously)  
Batista: sir, have you bought tickets?  
America: no brother  
He is kicked out of the arena  
America: stupid security. hey wait a second brother  
He chases them again  
HHH: roh no  
Flair: Woo  
Batista: Flair said woo, he must have a plan  
Orton: or gas  
Flair: I have a plan you idiots!  
Orton: oh!  
Later:  
Orton: hey america, do you want to be the new champion?  
Mr. America: yeah brother  
Orton: Then you must fight champion triple h  
HHH: Reah!  
They begin to fight, Mr. america pounds on hhh for a few minutes until all  
of evolution jumps him and beats the crap out of him like they do in real  
matches.  
Orton: Nice plan Flair!  
Batista: Now lets find out who this is  
Vince: Yeah, once and for all so I can hire him and then Fire him!  
All: Hulk Hogan!  
Vince: But why?  
Hogan: you fired me jackass!  
Vince: Oh yeah  
Orton: well his plan has been foiled thanks to my best friend  
HHH: triple, triple H  
Hogan: Oh brother.  
Vince: shutup Hogan! 


	2. mr cool

Notes: I'm probably going to update this more then ghost life because more  
then 1 person likes this. Also, the reason hhh is scooby doo is because  
their both main characters in their groups, also, I picked flair to be  
velma because he's the only one of them with a catch phrase, I was gonna  
make him shaggy at first, but I thought Orton made a better shaggy, and  
now, to our feature presentation, read or I'll send the horrible ghost of  
mr. America to say brother repeatedly!  
Evolution does scooby doo 2  
Randy: so, remind me again why we are going back to the wwe?  
Batista: Mcmahon hired us to catch ghosts you moron!  
HHH: Rhosts?!  
Flair: no, ghosts, woo  
HHH: rere re rare  
Mcmahon: why do you speak like that? Are you mentally ill? Anyway, there is  
some ghost named mr. Cool, he has been smuggling illegal drugs to the  
arena, and if he continues, the police will shut us down!  
Flair: you can woo count on us.  
Mcmahon: are you mentally challenged too?  
Orton: no, he's just a freak  
Later.  
Orton: Hey look it's a stoner!  
Rvd: don't call me a stoner, that's not cool but then again everythings  
cool when you're Rob Van Dam  
HHH: reah, rutever, are you gonna finish that crack?  
Rvd: get your own!  
Later.  
Orton: zoinks gang, it's another stoner  
Mr. Cool: dude, so not cool, but then again, everything's cool when you're  
mr. Cool  
Batista: oh no, it's the ghost gang!  
Flair: woo, what song should we play?  
Later.  
Batista: so it's settled, we play jimi Hendrix  
Orton: can we run yet?  
Flair: I gotta strut first, woo  
After flair struts jimi Hendrix plays and the gang get's caught in another  
gay chase scene  
Cool is chasing the gang when he sees a guy smoking, it's hhh  
HHH to self: must resist, using the letter r at the beginning of every  
sentence  
Cool: dude, where did you get that shit?  
HHH: rover rare  
he points to the exit  
Cool is so high he doesn't notice that The stoner used the letter r at the  
beginning of his sentences, he runs to the exit. Orton then locks the doors  
with some locks that came from out of nowhere  
Batista: we're safe, but we need a plan to catch him  
Flair: woo  
Orton: I'll get the prune juice  
Flair: you're a moron, I have a plan asshole!  
Orton: zoinks!  
Later.  
Mr. Cool sees a sign that says free pot, he goes in, and walks right into a  
cage  
HHH: rat ras the easiest rapture in rare ristory  
Orton: let's see who this is gang  
Rvd: yeah  
All but rvd: huh??  
Batista: if it isn't you then who is it?  
All: Hurricane?  
Batista: what the hell is going on?  
Hurricane: I would of gotten away with it too if it weren't for you  
mentally challenged morons!  
End  
Note: bet you didn't expect that did you?  
  
Hurricane 


	3. gay, i mean goldghost

Evolution does scooby doo3  
Orton: who do we have to catch this time mcmahon?  
Mcmahon: a ghost by the name of goldghost, and get away from me you retards  
Later  
Batista: I hate mcmahon  
HHH: whoa, rho rhe ruck ris rat?  
Goldust does the weird breath think and says gooooolllllldddddusssssttttttt  
Orton: don't touch me you queer  
Later.  
They see goldghost  
Orton: oh shit, it's a gay ghost  
Elton john plays (get it?)  
And they all start running  
Goldghost: mm, I love this song  
Flair: woo, oh no, he's dancing  
Batista: avert your eyes man!  
They all run their asses off  
Goldghost sees a gay bar, he walks in  
Goldghost: oh shit it's abandoned, I wanted something to  
We now interrupt this gay talk to bring you an important message: never  
kiss a man if you have a wife, thank you  
Back inside the bar.  
Orton walks up dressed as a cowboy, and pretends to be bartender  
Gold: hello bartender, make me a gay delight  
Orton: what the hell is that?  
Goldghost kisses him And is punched in the face, Orton continually steps on  
him even after he's out cold  
Flair: woo  
Batista: flair, we already caught the ghost  
Flair: no, I'm constipated, get the prune juice!  
After flair is done, they find out who the ghost is, who is it?  
Is it val venis? Is it William regal? Is it the rock?  
Hell no, it's golddust you morons!  
Golddust: and I would have gotten away with. whatever I did if it weren't  
for you handsome men  
Orton: get him as far away from us, as humanly possible!  
end 


	4. Karaoke

Scooby doo evolution style 4 (I'm only doing this because I can't think of  
a story yet)  
Disclaimer: I do not own the wwe or any of the bands that are playing, I  
just own this fic.  
And now for something completely different yet that has been done way too  
many times in the past, karaoke night  
Quick(me): today is karaoke night, first is HHH singing seven nation army  
by the white stripes  
HHH: I'm gonna fight 'em off  
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back  
They're gonna rip it off  
Taking their time right behind my back  
And I'm talkin' to myself at night  
Because I can't forget  
Back and forth through my mind  
Behind a cigarette  
And the message comin' from my eyes says leave it alone...  
Don't wanna hear about it  
Every single one's got a story to tell  
Everyone knows about it  
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell  
And if I catch it comin' back my way  
I'm gonna serve it to you  
And that ain't what you want to hear  
But that's what I'll do  
And the feeling coming from my bones says find a home...  
I'm going to Wichita  
Far from this opera forevermore  
I'm gonna work the straw  
Make the sweat drip out of every pore  
And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding  
Right before the lord  
All the words are gonna bleed from me  
And I will think no more  
And the stains comin' from my blood tell me "Go back home"  
Quick: next is Ric flair and batista singing one step closer by Linkin  
park,  
  
Flair: woo I cannot take this anymore  
I'm saying everything I've said before  
All these words they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear the less you'll say  
But you'll find that out anyway  
Just like before...  
  
batista: Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
  
flair: I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before...  
  
batista: Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Break break break break break  
  
Flair: shut up when I'm talking to you  
shut up shut up shut up  
shut up when I'm talking to you  
shut up shut up shut up shut up  
I'm about to break  
  
batista: Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Break break break break break break  
  
flair: shut up when I'm talking to you  
shut up shut up shut up  
shut up when I'm talking to you  
shut up shut up shut up shut up  
I'm about to break  
  
batista: Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
Quick: ok, moving on, will be mr. America singing Americana by offspring  
and if he says brother once, I will shoot him with a shotgun  
Mr. America gulps  
Mr. America: Well i'd like to tell you all about my dream, it's a place  
Where strip malls abound and diversion's mere moments away  
  
Where culture's defined by the  
Ones least refined  
And you'll be left behind  
If you don't fit in  
It's all distorted  
In americana my way  
  
Well my dream has come true  
My vision has come true  
  
Now give me my cable, fast food, four-by's, tat's right away  
I want it right now cause my generation don't like to wait  
  
My future's determined by  
Thieves, thugs, and vermin  
It's quite an excursion  
But it's okay  
Everything's backwards  
In americana my way  
  
Well my dream has come true  
My vision has come true  
  
I'm a product  
Of my environment  
So don't blame me, i just work here  
  
My rights are denied by  
Those least qualified  
Trading profit for pride  
But it's okay  
Everything's backwards  
In americana my way  
  
My nightmare has come true  
My nightmare has come true  
Yeah, it's all coming true brother! Oh shit!  
Mr america is shot by quick 3 times  
Quick: that was fun, anyway, goldust was supposed to be here but was  
supposedly shot many, many times with a revolver  
We see orton with a revolver in his hand and he hides it behind his back  
and starts whistling  
Quick: now, rvd is gonna play cool to hate by offspring  
Rvd: dude, I hate a lot of things  
I hate a lot of people that are lame  
I like to hate stuff  
Cause then I don't have to try and make  
A change  
I hate teachers  
I hate school  
I hate the cheerleaders  
And anyone who's cool  
I hate the office  
I hate the Quad  
Don't wanna learn nothing  
I want to be a slob  
  
It's cool to hate  
It's cool to hate  
I don't like nothing and I like that fine  
(Liking something's just a waste of time)  
It's cool to hate  
It's cool to hate  
I don't like nothing and I like that fine  
(Liking something's just a waste of time)  
I don't like nothing and like that fine  
(Liking something's just a waste of time)  
Yeah I hate everything  
I even hate you too  
So fuck you  
  
I'm always thinking bad  
I never have nothing good to say  
I'd rather tear things down  
Than build them up  
It's easier that way  
I hate the jocks  
And I hate the geeks  
I hate the preppies  
But I also hate the freaks  
I hate Dr. Martens  
And Muscle T's  
I'm only happy when I'm in my misery  
I'll cut you down and give you lip  
Being positive's so unhip  
I'll cut you down cause I'm a fool  
Being positive's so uncool  
  
I hate the jocks  
And I hate the geeks  
I hate the preppies  
But I also hate the freaks  
I hate your band  
And I hate TV  
I'm only happy when I'm in my misery  
Quick: nice one, are you gonna finish that?  
RVD: get your own!  
Quick: anyway, our next singer is mr. Cool, singing spit it out by slipknot  
Cool: Since you never gave a damn in the first place  
Maybe it's time you had the tables turned  
Cuz in the interest of all involved I got the problem solved  
And the verdict is guilty...  
...Man nearly killed me  
  
Steppin' where you fear to tread  
Stop, drop and roll - you were dead from the git-go!!  
Big mouth fucker, stupid cocksucker!  
Are you scared of me now? Then you're dumber than I thought  
Always is, never was  
Foundation made of piss and vinegar  
Step to me, I'll smear ya - Think I fear ya? bullshit!  
Just another dumb punk chompin' at this tit  
Is there any way to break through the noise?  
Was it something that I said that got you bent?  
It's gotta be that way if you want it  
Sanity, Literal Profanity hit me!  
  
Spit it out (x2)  
  
All you wanna do is drag me down  
All I wanna do is stamp you out  
  
Maybe it's the way you spread a lotta rumour fodder  
Keepin' all your little spies and leavin' when you realise  
Step up, fairy  
I guess it's time to bury your ass with the chrome  
Straight to the dome  
You heard that right, bitch, I didn't stutter  
If you know what's good - sit, shut up and beg, brother  
Backstab - Don't you know who you're dissin'?  
Side swipe - we know the ass that you're kissin'!  
Bigidy - bigidy bitch boy, halfwat hauser  
Can't hear shit cuz I keep gettin' louder  
Step up, and you get a face full o' tactic  
Lippin' off hard, goin' home in a basket  
You got no pull, no power, no nuthin'  
Now you start shit? Well, ain't that somethin'?  
Payoffs don't protect, and you can't hide if you want  
But I'll find you - Comin' up behind you!  
  
Spit it out (x2)  
  
All you wanna do is drag me down  
All I wanna do is stamp you out  
  
'Bout time I set this record straight  
All the needlenose punchin' is makin' me irate  
Sick o' my bitchin' fallin' on deaf ears  
Where YOU gonna be in the next five years?  
The crew and all the fools, and all the politix  
Get your lips ready, gonna gag, gonna make you sick  
You got dick when they passed out the good stuff  
Bam  
Are you sick of me? Good enough - had enough  
  
Fuck me! I'm all out of enemies! (x7)  
  
Fuck me! I'm all out of enemas!  
  
Spit it out (x2)  
  
All you wanna do is drag me down  
All I wanna do is stamp you out  
Quick: thank you, I think now we're going to have to become rated R,  
finally, I will sing sugar by system of a down, the best band in the world  
Quick: The kombucha mushroom people,  
Sitting around all day,  
Who can believe you,  
Who can believe you,  
Let your mother pray, (sugar)  
Well I'm not there all the time you know  
Some people, some people, some people,  
Call it insane, yeah they call it insane, (sugar)  
I play Russian roulette everyday, a man's sport,  
With a bullet called life, yeah called life,(sugar)  
You know that every time I try to go  
Where I really want to be,  
It's already where I am,  
Cause I'm already there.(sugar)  
The kombucha mushroom people,  
Sitting around all day,  
Who can believe you,  
Who can believe you,  
Let your mother pray, (sugar)  
I got a gun the other day from Sako,  
It's cute, small, fits right in my pocket,  
Yeah, right in my pocket, (sugar)  
My girl, you know, she lashes out at me sometimes,  
And I just kick her, and then she's O.K. ,she's O.K.(sugar)  
People are always chasing me down,  
Trying to push my face to the ground,  
Where all they really want to do,  
Is suck out my mother fucking brains, my brains (sugar).  
The kombucha mushroom people,  
Sitting around all day,  
Who can believe you,  
Who can believe you,  
Let your mother pray  
I sit, in my desolate room, no lights, no music,  
Just anger,  
I've killed everyone,  
I'm away forever, but I'm feeling better,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
Fuck you, it all goes away,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
Fuck you, it all goes away,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
In the end it all goes away,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
In the end it all goes away,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
In the end it all goes away,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
In the end it all goes away,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
In the end it all goes away,  
How do I feel,  
What do I say,  
In the end it all goes away,  
In the end it all goes away,  
In the end it all goes away,  
In the end it all goes away,  
In the end it all goes away.  
Quick: that's it, good night everyone 


	5. 3:16

Disclaimer: I own no wwe property, so stop searching my house!  
Stonecold: what  
Author: Stonecold, you're in my other story remember?  
Stonecold: oh whoops  
Author: Back in your cage!! Or I'll send you to kurt angles bedroom  
Austin: what!  
Now, back to our story  
Vince: ok, your assignment is to catch 3:16, he's the most annoying ghost  
ever  
Orton: I dunno, goldghost was pretty annoying  
Vince: catch him, or you're fired!  
Batista: do you have to do that?  
Vince: I haven't done that yet today  
Flair: ok, woo  
Later.  
HHH: rey, rit's rone cold reve.  
Austin: what  
Batista: he means  
Austin: what  
Batista: he  
Austin: what  
HHH pedigrees Austin  
Later.  
Flair: woo, it's 3:16!  
Batista: let's get out of  
3:16: what!  
HHH: Roh ruck this  
HHH pedigrees 3:16 and runs  
HHH: ret's ro!  
After the cooky music (I love that word, cooky)  
Flair: woo, I have a plan!  
Orton: good, that gas joke was getting kind of annoying!  
Later.  
3:16: where are they?  
Gang: what  
3:16: where are?  
Gang: what  
3:16: where?  
Gang: what  
3:16: where are they?  
Gang: what  
3:16: where are?  
Gang: what?  
Flair low blows 3:16 and they all beat the crap out of him chanting what as  
they pound him.  
Flair: now let's woo see who the ghost is  
Orton: if you say what one more time, I'm going to give you the RKO through  
3 tables  
Batista: it's Austin, now who could have guessed that?  
Vince: but why?  
Austin: because that stupid author hates me and he made me do it  
Author: shut up  
Lightning strikes austin 


	6. Los conquistadors and THE HARDY BOYZ!

Author: Hey guys, I've decided to have karaoke before every chapter,  
tonight, Perry Saturn sings Clams have feelings too  
Saturn: dogs eat aliens to please the elephants, you're welcome  
Author: umm  
Saturn: Birds are dumb cause small birdbrains  
But so are kids and old people  
Some birds talk most other sing  
I don't see you eating a talking bird  
Pigs smell bad they roll in poo  
But so do kids and elderly  
I don't see you chop off an old man's feet  
Put them in a mason jar and pickle them  
No chowder for you, cause clams have feelings too  
Actually they don't have central nervousness  
No Manhattan style, clams have the right to smile  
Come to think about it they don't have a face  
They have no face, no place for ears  
There's no clam eyes to cry clam tears  
No spinal cord, they must get bored  
Might as well just put them out of misery  
I don't believe it's selfish to eat defenseless shellfish  
No chowder for you clams have feelings too  
It could happen to you, clams have feelings too  
I don't think they do, clams have feelings too, you're welcome  
Author shoots Saturn with his shotgun  
Author: I love doing that, now, on with the show  
Austin: what  
Author shoots Austin with shotgun  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
hhh: rhat ris rit ris rime rcmahon  
mcmahon: I told you to stay away from me retard! Anyway, we have two  
ghosts, they're called los conquistadors, but you aren't the only ones on  
the case, we got 2 new guys called the hardy boyz to track these 2 down,  
and which ever of you 2 solves it first isn't fired!  
Batista: oh shit, we got to beat them too it  
Then, the hardy boyz walk in  
Matt: there's no chance of you beating us to it  
Jeff: yeah, you're not extreme  
Matt: will you stop saying extreme Jeff, please!  
Jeff: sorry dude, it's just hard not to say that, extremely hard  
Matt: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Flair: woo, they've got problems  
Later  
Orton: who are you?  
Edge: we're edge and Christian you reekazoids  
Batista: what the hell is a reekazoid?  
Christian: umm  
They give him the conchairto  
Edge: any other questions?  
They all shake their heads  
Later  
Flair: woo, it's the conquistadors  
Jeff: let's run extremely fast!  
Orton and Matt: SHUTUP!!!  
They run, and run, while Davey Jones plays, but by the time it's over, matt  
and jeff are nowhere to be found  
Flair: where the woo are they?  
Matt: right here  
The hardys show up with Edge and Christian in chains  
Jeff: we caught them, it was so extreme!  
Matt: uh, yeah  
Flair: oh crap!  
Mcmahon: evolution. You're.  
Flair: woo  
Orton: you better have a plan old man!  
Flair: I don't need one, did anyone else fail to see the fact that the  
hardy boyz are wearing the conquistadors clothing  
Matt: oh damn, I knew we forgot something!  
Mcmahon: you 2 are fired!  
Stonecold appears  
Stonecold: um, if they're the WHAT conquistadors, WHAT why were they WHAT  
being chased by the conquistadors before?  
Stone cold is struck by lightning 


End file.
